I don’t know if I woke up and this is what was in my head, or if what I heard woke me up. Either way, it was exactly 3:00 this morning, and both of these songs were singing on the stereo in my mind… At the same time…
Toby Mac. “If You wanna steal my show, I’ll sit back and watch you go. If You got somethin’ to say, go on and take it away… My dreams, my fears, my family, my career. It’s all Yours, God.”
J.J. Weeks Band. “Let them see You in me. Let them hear You when I speak. Let them feel You when I sing. Let them see You, Just let them see You in me.”
I was instantly wide awake. It even felt like my usual wake up time and I thought, “I’ll just get up and go write.” After I looked at the clock, I knew I’d be in trouble today if I did that… I need sleep as much as the next person. More if I’m going to be reading music this morning. So I climbed back in bed and said a short prayer that the music would still be there this morning… That I wouldn’t forget the songs by dawn.
When I opened my eyes, it was daylight (unusual for me) and I panicked a little. But there they were… Still singing. And I know why these are the songs today. I am faced with some decisions in the coming months. I’ve been weighing my options, and praying for direction.
These words are exactly the reminder that I needed that I am not the one in control of my life, my future, my decisions. It’s all God’s show, not mine. What I do or don’t do is on His shoulders, not mine. And I just need to relax… Chil-lax as one of my boys says… And let Him do the work in me that He has prepared in advance for me to do.
As long as others can see Him in me, can hear Him when I speak, can feel Him in my music, then I’m on the right track no matter what I do. I like Rick Warren’s statement in What On Earth Am I Here For? “It’s not about me.” (As much as I’d like it to be!) It’s about what I do in this life that impacts other people. And it forces me to ask myself some pretty scary questions.
Have I loved others enough? Have I served others enough? How much of what I’ve done in my years on this planet has been for myself instead of others? Maybe I need to be asking these questions of my children and my husband. Either way, I know that whatever my future holds, I want to serve God in it, in whatever capacity He will have me. It’s all Yours, God… Take it away!!