Don’t Deserve You

My thoughts are all over the map this morning. We are having a much-needed rain and I can hear thunder in the distance… Drumming across the sky behind the sound of the birds waking up, singing their song to whoever will listen. My husband is awake downstairs, having breakfast, making his lunch, feeding the dogs, getting ready for work. Behind all this, or maybe in the middle of it all, I hear Plumb’s voice singing, “And when I walk away, You take off running and come right after me.” Only this line, on repeat.

I couldn’t even recall the song this line came from and had to look it up. It’s from the song Don’t Deserve You off of her Need You Now album. You can hear the full song here, but the words to the chorus are:

I don’t deserve Your love
But You give it to me anyway
Can’t get enough
You’re everything I need
And when I walk away
You take off running and come right after me
It’s what You do
And I don’t deserve You

God must have tired legs if He takes off running after me every time I walk away. I’m so thankful that He does, but why DO I walk away? And HOW do I walk away? I am the faithful one, the girl who had a “job” at church from the time I was 13, and have stayed faithful to whatever church I served and to The Lord most of my life. And the older I get, the less wandering I do. But I do wander…

I trust other things when I should be trusting God alone. I go with my emotions when I should be going with the truth and promises in God’s word. I harden my heart against what or who I think may hurt me. I stock my refrigerator for an army when there are only two of us in the house. I watch the bank account like it will disappear any minute rather than depending on God to provide.

It is absolutely pouring right now… There is not a dry spot left out there, and the ground is soaking up the water like a dry sponge. That is what I want to do with my heart… Soak up God’s word, God’s love, God’s grace and mercy with my dry heart, and let it swell full and heavy with all the He has to give.

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