Consumed

It’s a tough morning! One of those wish-I-could-stay-in-bed-don’t-want-to-go-work-today-need-another-cup-of-coffee-already kind of mornings!! I can’t seem to get my mind moving in one direction this morning, but the song in my head is a one-liner that points me there. “Consume me from the inside out, Lord.”

I’ve been doing a lot of reflection lately. (Birthdays make me do that somehow.) What have I done in my life that truly matters? How will my children remember me in years to come, or rather what will they remember that I taught them, good or bad? What could I have done differently? Better? We all want to make a mark, leave a legacy, but I never have thought about my life in those terms. I was too busy living it.

Raising kids, working full time, serving my church all while trying to be a good wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. It consumes a person. Granted in all those things I tried to keep focused on God, study my Bible, take my kids to church, teach them right from wrong. But I think that my life consumed me… Used up my time, my energy, my focus, my attention, my self. But was I used up for God?

This reminds me of a very old song that I used to do… Broken and Spilled Out. It tells the story of the woman with the alabaster jar of valuable perfume which she recklessly lavished on the feet of Jesus. The first chorus goes…

Broken and spilled out just for love of You Jesus
My own precious treasure lavished on thee
Broken and spilled out and poured at Your feet
In sweet abandon, let me be spilled out and used up for Thee

I have to say that this song pointed me to God many times in my life when I just felt like I had nothing to give, when I felt like my life was so consumed with living it that I wasn’t serving the God who gave it to me. But God is good and faithful, and He whispers to me through His Holy Spirit that serving Him in the living of my life is right where I needed to be.

He sent His Son to pay the penalty for my sin. My precious Jesus was broken for me, his blood was spilled out, he was used up, consumed, for ME. A second chorus of this old song goes…

Broken and spilled out just for love of me, Jesus
Your own precious treasure lavished on me
Broken and spilled out and poured at my feet
In sweet abandon, Lord You were spilled out and used up for me

In sweet abandon. When was the last time I did anything with abandon? When have I lavished anything on anyone? Consume me from the inside out, Lord. Use me for Your glory!

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