It’s a different morning in my head today. Ingrid Michaelson is singing “I just want to be okay, be okay, be okay…” But the problem is, I don’t!
I don’t want to just be “okay,” I want to be wonderful, fabulous, awesome, terrific, great… You get the idea. Granted, being “okay” is better than being terrible. But is that all I want to be?
While it’s a fun little tune and she performs it beautifully, the lyrics make me sad. She goes on to sing-
I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today
I just want to feel something today
Open me up and you will see
I’m a gallery of broken hearts
I’m beyond repair, let me be
And give me back my broken parts
I just want to know today, know today, know today
Know that maybe I will okay.
Maybe these words make me sad because I’ve been in that place before, and I’ve “graduated” to a new place of joyful living. I don’t have to feel just okay, or feel something anymore. Yes, I get down. Yes, I feel bad. Yes, I hurt… For myself and for others. But Christ wasn’t resurrected so I could be okay. Christ came that I could have life, and have it abundantly!
Nobody, including me, is beyond repair, though there have been times in my life when I thought so. But God is good ALL the time. He has healed me from that place of despair and grief, and He brought me back to His heart. And that’s where I want to stay. Safe, warm, loved, protected, guarded by His mighty angels, living the life He planned for me before I was even one day old.