Excuse me, but I don’t think so.

I need to go back and read my own blog. Just when I think I have a grip on my life and what I need to do in a tough situation, or how I need to behave in a particular situation… BAM! The devil jumps right in and says, “Excuse me, but I don’t think so!” He knocks the starch right out of me.

The last two days, post-vacation yet pre-retirement, have been nerve-wracking and exhausting. I’ve asked myself, “Why?” The answer comes down to this: I love these people!! Yes, I’m so busy I can’t find my desk. Yes, my Julys are usually super busy. Yes, I’m anxious about getting it all done before I retire August 1st. But the bottom line is that I love these people, and I love them for the work they’re doing for deaf kids across the state.

When you love someone, you hurt for them when they’re hurting. We do it with our children, our spouses, our friends… We cry with them, commiserate with them and try to find solutions. Mostly though, we are there. I think these days wouldn’t be so hard if I didn’t care so much.

Jesus did it for us. He loves us so much that he took the cross of shame for us. Beaten, scorned, spit on, bleeding, dying… All for this broken people He loves, no matter what we do or say. He cries with us. He intercedes for us with God the Father. And mostly? He’s there!! He’s HERE. Right here, right now. In this very room with me feeling the pain in my heart and begging the Father to make it better.

With my whole heart I want to glorify God in all I do. I keep falling and failing. And I try to get right back up again. Sometimes it’s just hard. But if it was easy, then Jesus wouldn’t have needed to suffer for us. His resurrection from the dead gives me hope that bits and pieces of my life can be resurrected. And made new and whole once more. And MY Lord can knock it out of the park!!

I have many songs running through my head, all discombobulated. I selected the featured image, a painting of a knockout rose I did a couple of years ago, because my favorite name for Jesus is the Rose of Sharon.

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