Drowning

I am a terrible swimmer. I never learned to breathe properly in the water, and I sink like a rock! I don’t swim so much as flail about, hoping nobody is watching. I have to wear ear plugs and nose plugs. It’s quite comical actually… Like a long, extended drowning rather than swimming. That’s the worst part. The sense that I’m one breath away from drowning every minute I’m lumbering from one end of the pool to the other.

The song in my head this morning is Casting Crowns East to West. The minute my brain was aware this morning, I was hearing these lines from the beginning of this song:

Here I am, Lord, and I’m drowning in your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest

And right here is where the difference in swimming and drowning meet. If I’m swimming in God’s sea of forgetfulness, then I’m there by choice for however long I choose. I decide to jump into the sea of His grace and mercy and let it wash over me for a while. But eventually I’ll climb out and dry off and think how refreshing that was, but I’ll go back to my regular life thank you very much.

If I’m drowning in His sea of forgetfulness, then I have no control. God does. His love and mercy and grace wash over me and all around me and take my breath away. God is the only one who can keep me alive, because I couldn’t get out of that pool if I tried! I sink into the depths of His love, never to return to my old life.

The first time I heard the chorus to this song, I wept. I played this song over and over again.

Jesus can You show me just how far the east is from the west
‘Cause I can’t bear to see the man I’ve been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
‘Cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other

Please listen to this song HERE, and bask in the grace and mercy of God’s love and in His sea of forgetfulness. Drown in it.

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