Who am I?

Self-esteem. My estimation of myself, how I perceive myself, what I think of me. My struggle with low self-esteem has been the thorn in my side my whole life, along with food (though I think they go hand in hand.) Just when I think I’ve got a grip on it and things are going well, something or someone comes along and shakes things up, stirring up old feelings and fears.

I’ve had this song in my head for two mornings in a row. The same lyric from Greater by MercyMe. Maybe God is trying to build my self-esteem while I sleep!

Bring your doubts
Bring your fears
Bring your hurt
Bring your tears
There’ll be no condemnation here
You are holy, righteous and redeemed.

Every time I fall
There’ll be those who will call me
A mistake
Well, that’s ok

‘Cause I hear a voice and He calls me redeemed
When others say I’ll never be enough
And greater is the One living inside of me
Than he who is living in the world

One thing I know without a doubt… I matter to God. My husband may get busy and preoccupied, my kids may be busy living their lives in other places, my friends may be working or dealing with their own issues, and it doesn’t mean they don’t love me. They do so very much! But GOD

Always has time for me
Wants to hear what I have to say
Waits patiently for me to come to him
Understands my pain even when I don’t understand it myself
Knows where I hurt
Cares about me, the real me
Places people in my life just when I need them most
Protects my heart

I want to be a person who can be used by God to do those things in some small way for other people. After all, I am holy, righteous and redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ. I put my “self” in His hands, because he “esteems” me as his child, and loves me with an everlasting love. Even when I don’t love myself very much at all!

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. – Romans 8:1

Click here to listen to Greater by MercyMe

I wrote about this song a few weeks ago from a completely different perspective. Click here to read Greater.

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