Broken Hallelujah

It’s hard to concentrate this morning. Coffee isn’t helping. I was up late talking with my son who is home from college, and then texting with my soon-to-be-a-mommy daughter through the night getting status updates. Her baby is on its way today!!!! I’m so excited for her and her husband, and I can’t wait to know whether I have a grandson or granddaughter. They chose to be surprised, but I don’t think any of us thought the surprise would take this long to arrive!

Babies take their sweet time, don’t they? I know that mine were all very late to arrive. Very reluctant infants… And absolutely completely and totally worth the wait!!!! It’s funny how we can wait and plan for nine months for the arrival of a new baby in the family, but ultimately God is the only one who knows when that baby will come. I have this line in my head from a song called Broken Hallelujah by the Afters.

Even though I don’t know what your plan is
I know You’re making beauty from these ashes

When I look back at the births of my own children, I can see how God had a perfect plan for their arrival. At the time, I was way overdue, exhausted, and ready to hold my baby in my arms instead of carrying around all that weight in my belly. And, believe me, there was a lot of it because my babies were all about 10 pounds except one.

But God knew better. When they finally arrived, all with different stories and different circumstances, all the waiting anxiousness and stress was gone in an instant. All the pain and discomfort receded into the background and there was nothing more beautiful or magical in my world than that precious new life in my arms. God brought this beautiful new life into my heart and my world for me to love and nurture. Beauty. God took away the pain and discomfort of pregnancy, labor, and childbirth. Ashes. Gods promise from Isaiah 61:3:

to give them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair;

There are so many times in my life when I thought I would never make it through. They say hindsight is 20/20. Looking back, I can see how God made beauty from the ashes in my life so many times. He took what I thought was not worth saving, and turned it into something wonderful and useful for His glory and honor. And for that, I can only give him my Broken Hallelujah.

I’ve seen joy and I’ve seen pain
On my knees, I call Your name
Here’s my broken hallelujah
With nothing left to hold onto
I raise these empty hands to You
Here’s my broken hallelujah

Click here to listen to Broken Hallelujah by the Afters.

Featured image courtesy shoutitforlife.com

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